2016/08/29

Handmade Planetarium

My 7-year-old son and I finally recovered from epidemic conjunctivitis!

My son and husband went to the rental video shop Saturaday's afternoon to return DVDs which my husband rent a week ago.

They bought a craft kit of planetarium at the bookstore next to the rental video shop.

My son was absorbed in assembling it and my husband helped him.

Three hours later, they finished making it.

They closed the shutters in the Japanese room and my son said:

"Come on and look at this mom!"

My 6-year-old daughter and I went there, then he turned on the light of the planetarium.

The starry sky suddenly appeared in the entire room.

"Wow! How beautiful!"

We lay down on tatami and watched the stars going slowly.

We weren't able to go out after my son and I were suffered from  epidemic conjunctivitis.

But we enjoyed staying home.

It was also valuable time for me.


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1 件のコメント:

  1. Hello Kumi-san,

    It sounds as if your son may have and interest in astronomy. That is a very interesting topic. I enjoyed going to the local astronomy building when I was a child although I was not smart enough to understand a lot of the technical terms.

    Also congratulations on you and your son's recovery from conjunctivitis. Having to be cooped up unable to venture outside must be difficult for a young child.

    Here is a list of issues found in the rest of the post:

    This line:
    My son and husband went to the rental video shop Saturaday's afternoon to return DVDs which my husband rent a week ago.

    Should be:
    My son and husband went to the rental video shop on Saturday afternoon to return DVDs which my husband rented a week ago.

    Reason: There were multiple corrections to the sentence above. 1. Saturday was spell incorrectly. 2. Changed "Saturday's afternoon" to "on Saturday afternoon" as this sounds more natural. 3. Changed "rent" to "rented" as this sounds more natural and "rented" is the past tense version of rent which you would use in your sentence.

    This line:
    They bought a craft kit of planetarium at the bookstore next to the rental video shop.

    Should be:
    They bought a craft kit of a planetarium at the bookstore next to the rental video shop.

    Reason: Filler word added.

    This line:
    We lay down on tatami and watched the stars going slowly.

    Should be:
    We lay down on tatami and watched the stars going slowly by.

    Reason: "by" was added to make the sentence complete. "By" when used in this way can be thought of as an abbreviation of "pass by" or "travel by".

    Examples:

    I watched the cars go by.
    I watched the cars travel by.
    I watched the cars pass by.
    We went by car to the market.
    We travelled by car to the market.
    We sat quietly and watched the day go by.

    This line:
    We weren't able to go out after my son and I were suffered from epidemic conjunctivitis.

    Should be:
    We weren't able to go out before my son and I had recovered from epidemic conjunctivitis.

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